Friday, March 07, 2008

Hairy Toast

Every morning when I leave the house I get in the car and the first thing I do is throw my jellied toast face down in the floor of my car. Why not, that's where it's going to end up anyway when the asshole in front of me slams on his breaks. Now at least it doens't piss me off when it happens. Then when I get to work the first thing I do is run some kind of wild query that fills up all the memory and CPU and locks everyone out of the system. Why not, that's what's going to happen as soon as my favorite report writer logs in.

Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed and go through the hassle. Then again, if you've done what you should as a DBA, it shouldn't be that bad. Hopefully you've setup things in your DB that keep things from getting too out of hand. Hopefully you've been able to teach your report writer some basic dos and don'ts (sp?).
But what if you're in a new place? Can you still be effective? Of course you can. Again, if you're a good DBA you've collected a nice gaggle of scripts that you take from place to place. Years ago when I was just getting started, I didn't get that. I always thought, why be lazy, just write the damn scripts when you need them. But that's the wrong attitude. It's not laziness, it's practicality. There's just no reason to work out that logic every time.

So if you follow some of your own best practices and set yourself up for success, maybe you can withstand the bad times. But there's nothing you can do about traffic, so I guess you'll have to keep throwing your toast on the floor. Life goes on.


Will Harris said...

I'd love to see a zip file of all the scripts, or a list of the scripts you consider important enough to drag around with you.

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Sean McCown
I am a Contributing Editor for InfoWorld Magazine, and a frequent contributor to as well as I live with my wife and 3 kids, and have practiced and taught Kenpo for 22yrs now.
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